As we get closer to Samhain and US Thanksgiving (sorry Canadian residents, this is late for us) it’s good practice to remember and re-enforce the boundaries that we set around ourselves.
It’s very easy for us to make attachments to people and places and things and then forget that they are there. These attachments will often ping on our attention occasionally – sometimes more than occasionally.
Think of that Uncle who you love but who is just a bit annoying, or that book that you keep meaning to read, or that project that lays there half-done, or even your partner. Each of these things take a bit of our attention – consciously or subconsciously – and they are a drain on us.
Sometimes, like in the case of your partner (assuming a healthy relationship) it can be totally worth the attention and energy. But sometimes it’s just a drain.
Productivity gurus tell us to write out to-do lists to get it off our brains, or even just journaling can help. But sometimes, we just need to reset.
This little spell is that reset for our attention, for our energy. It doesn’t firmly cut the stubborn cords – there are other workings for that – but it does help us reset.
It’s kind of like when you get a new credit card number (due to loss or theft) and suddenly you see all the things that you are subscribed to or have allowed to charge you. For the stuff you want to keep, you just give them your new number. For the other stuff, you just leave them alone.
Here we are cutting, or at least recognizing, all our connections and choosing which ones we wish to re-establish.
The working is simple.
Find some time when you can be alone. Depending on how often you do this practice, you may need 15 minutes, or you may need an hour. Turn your phone off and make sure you won’t be disturbed.
This is really effective if you can do it in the shower! The water running off of your body helps. Combine it with a sugar scrub and you have a powerful reset.
Light a candle or some incense, or put on some music as you wish. Whatever helps you to relax and focus is great.
Now take three deep breaths and center yourself wherever your center is – that may be in your heart, or your belly, or lower.
With your mind’s eye, scan the edges of your body. See and feel the cords that connect you to all the things that have your attention. Maybe they are connected to the TV, or your phone, or your partner, or your noisy neighbours. They could be connected to anything. They may have different colors, they may feel different with textures and temperatures. There is no right or wrong.
Some of those cords start with you, and some of those cords start with someone, or something, else.
The cords just are. It doesn’t matter how many there are, or where they are attached to. That’s just you. No judgement.
Take another breath and chant the following words. As you chant, the energy returns to where it came from. Experience each cord separating from it’s target as energy goes back to where it came from. The cords from other people wither and drop off of you. The cords from you pull back into you.
What’s mine is mine
What’s thine is thine
To me return what is mine
To thee return what is thine
Keep repeating the chant until you feel (or see) that the energy returning to it’s owner. I find that I feel lighter and more energized when this work is done.
Take a deep breath again, and FEEL your body. Feel the seat under you, or the floor beneath your feet. Feel your breath as it enters your body, and as it leaves you.
BE. HERE. NOW.
Once you are done with the ritual take some time to ground and center yourself. Eat and drink something.
Over the next few days, reach out to those folks to whom you want to make sure that you keep your connection. Pay attention to the things you want to to re-establish those connections.
Remember that your attention and your energy is yours. It’s up to you where it’s spent.